Setting the Inner Child free, and thus facilitating the self-healing process for others, is the most rewarding of all the work that I do. It is a matter of such amazement when a person ‘sees’ the inner child almost as a living, breathing child that exists within. But what is even more heartening, is when someone is willing to make a sustained effort of listening, healing and liberating the inner child from its prison.
The ‘Inner Child’ is the vulnerable, emotive, sensitive part of you that is crying out to be acknowledged, to be listened to, and to be set free from its pains. When it is continually ignored, the inner child uses whatever method available to it, to draw our attention. Sometimes it is through weird accidents that seem to become a pattern, sometimes through illnesses that keep cropping up (to us or to those whom we take care of), sometimes it is through unpleasant patterns that seem to exist in our relationships and interactions, and sometimes it is through a deep-set absence of enthusiasm. To ignore the inner child is to close the doors to the greatest source of love and laughter, to the most effective means of staying healthy, to ensuring intimacy and harmony in relationships, and to accessing the font of inner wisdom that lies within every soul.
This powerful ‘being’ lies at the very core of our existence. We are blessed with a happy, spontaneous, delighted, curious, fearlessly expressive inner child when we are born. Then, the world around us collides with this happy being, and subtle and obvious demands are made, and messages given – be good, be who we tell you to be, don’t be ‘you’, you are not as important as ‘the parent’, you shall be loved if you are ------, ‘the parent’ knows best, don’t trust yourself, be seen and not heard, don’t ask questions, don’t do this-it’s dangerous, and so on. Most times these demands are made by parents who genuinely care for the well-being of the little child, who wish nothing but the best for the child, and thus employ methods of disciplining and child-rearing that they believe shall work towards the child’s happiness. But, even without ever meaning to, spontaneity is eroded, free expression curtailed, self-confidence chipped away at, and small and big wounds begin to shape and form the inner child. The spirit of the child is well buried under the demands of the family, school, society, friends, partner, profession, and our own children. Thus, ‘I’ can be as good and sensitive a parent as my wounded inner child allows me to be. And sadly this cycle continues. In this way ‘the child is the father of man’.
When we ignore our feelings, when we stop ourselves from expressing our truths, when we neglect our needs, we are ignoring our inner child. This is reflected by the neglect and lack of attention that we experience from those around us. When we ignore our instincts and intuition, and do what we have been conditioned to believe is the ‘right’ thing to do, we become part of the herd that follows a path set by others, and then wonder why we feel no sense of delight, experience little success, and feel alienated from others.
‘Boys don’t cry’, ‘girls must make themselves look pretty’, ‘obey, don’t argue’, and so many more messages, rob the inner child of its zest for life. Life then seems a chore, a routine that changes little one day from the other, and we resort to intoxicants, stimulants, food, sex, and other habits in order to feel ‘alive’ even if it is only for brief moments. Abusive behaviours towards self and/or others point towards a very deeply wounded and unhealthy inner child. Control issues, aggression, and domination indicate as ‘sick’ an inner child as servitude, fear, and submissiveness. The inner child screams to be heard and healed, but is only pushed down even further. Soon, this unhealthy inner child is not able to get our attention in any other way except through illnesses, poor relationships, professional blocks, creative failures, weight issues, and inability to generate money. What follows is depression, phobias, anxiety disorders, self-esteem issues, and emotional disconnection.
This is not the life you promised yourself as a soul! To live that life, to fulfill that soul-directed blueprint, the inner child must be heard – and healed. Emotional connectivity with ourselves, and others, is the key to this. To be who we truly are, to be the authentic self, the inner child must be embraced once again – not by another, but by ‘me’.
(To begin the process of healing the inner child, please contact me ellaeenah@jadefirelight.com)